Is My Baby Overtired? Knowing the Signs & How to Help Your Child When They Are Overtired
As a gently sleep coach, one of the questions I am most frequently asked…
“Rhaine, is my baby overtired or undertired???”
Let me tell you, I wish the answer was a simple one! Truthfully, there are so many factors we need to consider when your little one is struggling with sleep. However, more often than not, it has been my experience that overtiredness is one of the more frequent causes for babies and toddlers struggling with sleep.
So what does it mean to be “overtired?” Simply put:
If your child is overtired, they are past the point of their ideal nap or bedtime.
Overtiredness shows up when your child’s awake window is too long, whether that be due to travel, a one off wonky day, a nap transition, or a deeper, unresolved sleep association issue. But how do we know if your kiddo is truly overtired? Let’s unpack what we need to know about overtiredness, the signs to look out for, how to recover from it and prevent it from happening in the future.
4 signs that your child might be struggling with overtiredness:
1. Hyperactivity
Overtired children are often overstimulated, resulting in hyperactivity and difficulty settling down. While this is often how overtiredness shows up in toddlers, it can also show up in older babies and can be easily confused with being ready to play.
One tell-tale sign that your child is overtired? Picture this:
You’re cleaning up from family dinner (which maybe ran a little longer than usual), your child is playing contently, perhaps enjoying some quiet activities and is starting to show signs that they are getting ready for bed. Maybe they are yawning, sitting quietly, or just generally in a mellow mood. You finish cleaning up and are just about to bring babe to the bath when their mood has suddenly shifted into a playful, goofy little monkey and it seems like maybe they’ve caught their “second wind.”
I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but this is a clear sign that your kiddo missed their ideal sleep window and is now in the “overtired zone.” Remember when I said that this sign can easily confused with being ready to play? Yeah. This is that example!
This can often show up when kiddos are going through a nap transition or toddlers who are moving away from naps all together. Their little bodies are adjusting to a much longer awake period, and this so called “second wind” is their body’s defense to try to help them make it to a later bedtime.
2. Excessive Crankiness, Fussiness, or Straight up Inconsolable
An overtired baby is often just plain fussy. They are not interested in eating, playing, calming or settling. In addition, they are likely overstimulated (remember the first sign, "Hyperactivity?"), making it more difficult for them to settle to sleep. I will often see babies and young toddlers “thrashing” their bodies, extending their arms or arching their back when you try to hold them, throwing what might look like a tantrum and expressing really big emotions. You know it when you see it. And it is likely that if your child is excessively crabby right before bedtime, overtiredness is a likely culprit.
3. Crashing to Sleep
If your child is crashing to sleep within a matter of minutes (5 minutes or less), it's more than likely they are overtired. When your child has the appropriate amount of sleep pressure built up (not too much, or too little),
it should be taking them between 10-20 minutes to fall asleep on average.
4. False Starts and Frequent Night Wakings
When children become overtired, it can be harder for them to fall asleep and stay asleep. This will often lead to false starts, more frequent night wakings between sleep cycles. Maybe your kiddo crashed to sleep initially, but an hour later they are up and ready to party. This is because their little bodies are so overstimulated that they are unable to calm their body and stay asleep.
Okay, babe is overtired… now what?
What you need to do when it’s happening
If you have ever tried consoling an overtired kiddo, I KNOW you know the struggle. It is no easy task, and can become incredibly frustrating and overwhelming. So, what can we do in the moment your child is struggling with this?
Our number one priority is to get baby to sleep.
However you need to do this, make it happen. Stick to your normal bedtime routine as much as possible, but you may need to move through it a little more quickly. So, if you normally enjoy a lengthy 30 minute routine with your child in getting ready for bed, try to get that closer to 15 or even 10 minutes for tonight. I know that this can feel rushed and some kiddos are really resistant to skipping any part of their usual routine. Here are a few things you can do to move through the routine without you or your child feeling too rushed:
If it’s bath night and you can’t skip it, have a shorter bath time or opt for a simple wash up instead
Have jammies and sleep sack lined up in their room or even the bathroom so that they are ready to jump into bed right after bath
Turn on white noise before you read books
Read 1 book instead of 2 or 3 and choose the book ahead of time if you can
Avoid talking about how we need to do things “faster” (this is frustrating and confusing for children to hear for many reasons, and can often backfire into a whole different set of challenges)
Your child may also need additional support to help them to sleep (as they will likely resist going to sleep easily). Do this in whatever way you feel comfortable. I would suggest refraining from a “favorite” sleep association like feeding to sleep, as this can be incredibly challenging to transition away from if they get into this habit (but if that association is working for you right now, go for it!), but it is absolutely okay to give extra comforts and assistance to help them!
Things happen, there are random days where babe didn’t take their usual nap and it is likely that you’ve experienced a time or two where your kiddo has been overtired by the time bedtime rolls around. However, if your kiddo is showing regular signs of overtiredness and is struggling with sleep because of it, that is when we need to consider how to resolve the underlying issues and get back on track with your healthy sleep routines.
How we can prevent it from happening in the future
It is crucial for parents and caregivers to understand the signs of an overtired baby and take steps to prevent it so that they can get the restful and rejuvenating sleep they need to continue to learn, play and grow! Let’s take a look at how we can prevent overtiredness from occurring in the future.
Know your child's sleepy cues:
These can look different for every child, but the common signs to watch for include:
Yawning
Eye rubbing
Red/flushed eyebrows
General calmness
Sucking on hands
Light fussiness
Knowing your child's sleepy cues will help you know when your baby is ready for sleep and establish a regular rhythm. It is important to note that sleepy cues are more helpful for knowing when your newborn is ready for sleep. When these sleepy cues show up in our older babies and toddlers, it is more likely that they are already overtired. Be sure to follow your child’s lead, know their individual signs of tiredness so that you can find their ideal bedtime.
Know your child’s sleep needs:
Along with all of their unique qualities that make them so special, your baby's sleep needs may look different from that of their peers! Knowing your child's sleep needs will help you find the ideal bedtime, wake time, and general daily schedule for your little love. It is also important to consider what is happening in your child’s current daily rhythm:
Was their nap long enough?
Did they skip nap today?
Are they working on a new skill?
Have you been traveling?
Consider what their days have been looking like and what kind of shifts might need to happen for more restful sleep.
Evaluate your child’s schedule:
Our kiddos are constantly growing and developing new skills, how exciting! Along with all of this incredible growth comes changing sleep schedules. Between 0-24 months of age is when your child’s sleep schedule seems to constantly be changing. Reference your child’s age appropriate wake windows and nap schedule as a guide, but more importantly, remember to follow their lead!
Additional Considerations
Is overtiredness the only cause for these 4 signs?
Absolutely not! As a holistic sleep coach, I believe it is so important to look at your child’s story as a whole. What does their day look like? Are there any health concerns that need to be ruled out? Is your family going through a big transition like a move or childcare shift? These are just a few considerations to make when considering how to best support your growing babe as they navigate healthy sleep routines.
2. Do I need to stress about my baby’s sleep schedule and on top of it every single day?
Nope! You and your family should be able to enjoy your days doing what you love! This may include traveling and going on adventures, or regular visits with family and friends. While I advocate for having a regular schedule as much as possible especially as baby gets older, it is just not realistic to expect that you will be able to go through your normal routine every single day. Establishing a healthy sleep foundation for your child is absolutely essential and will allow you to take those vacations, go on daily adventures, and recover from any one off days where sleep may have been a little trickier than the day before.
If you need more personalized support in helping your child form a healthy and sustainable relationship with sleep, give me a call and let’s get you to where you want to be (psst… the call is FREE)!
Sweet Dreams,
♡Rhaine
