Managing Your Child’s Sleep During the Holidays
Whether you are traveling far or staying close to home this holiday season, chances are you are already worried about your child’s sleep. You’ve come to the right place! Here are my tips for celebrating your favorite traditions without everyone’s sleep going haywire.
Celebrating holiday traditions with family is something we look forward to every year! From cozy game nights by the fire to delicious home-cooked meals, family traditions bring so much joy for everyone! But sometimes all the excitement can be overwhelming for you and your child, and may even disrupt their regular sleep patterns. So, let’s talk about how to navigate your holiday without feeling like you’re compromising your child’s sleep and family fun…
Preparing for the day
You’re gearing up for a full day of family time and celebration. It might be a long day ahead and having a plan ahead of time can help ease the anxiety and prepare you for smooth transitions with your child.
Communicate with your partner
If you are traveling with a partner, be sure you are both on the same page! Making sure you are going into the family visit with similar expectations and boundaries will make for smoother transitions and less hiccups throughout the day.
Maybe you are visiting your partner’s family for Thanksgiving, and it is really important to them that your child gets to stay up to have a piece of great grandma’s famous apple pie. Or perhaps your family’s annual football game falls right before baby’s nap, but you feel strongly about being there. Talk it out and make a plan that feels good for both of you! Maybe you decide your kiddo can stay up past their bedtime for pie, but they will need to have quiet time that afternoon to avoid getting too tired. Maybe you both can make it to the football game and take turns strolling with sleeping baby. Balancing your routine with the family celebrations and traditions allows everyone to have fun without the stress of everyone’s sleep going off the rails.
Set boundaries with family
Who else has that one relative that oversteps and always makes sure to throw in a comment on your parenting style?
I am a big supporter of boundary setting and listening to your instincts! But it can be really challenging to advocate for yourself especially with your extended family. Breathe and consider these few examples of how to talk to families about your boundaries:
“We are so excited to see you all next week and spend time with everyone! I know Aaron will be so happy to get to visit grandma and grandpa :) We will be there for the day, but will need to leave by 6:00 to get Aaron to bed on time. I appreciate you understanding how important this is to us.”
“We are having such a fun time today! We will have to put Charlie down for a nap soon before she get’s cranky. Can I set up her crib in your room or would you like to join us for a stroller walk/nap?”
“It has been so wonderful to get to see everyone today! It’s time for us to head home, thank you so much for everything!”
You may get some responses like “Aw, we never get to see her! Let her stay up a little longer with us.” or “Oh, I don’t mind holding the baby even if she’s cranky, can’t she nap on the way home?”
…. *Deep breath.
You know your child better than anyone and are setting boundaries for them to thrive at their best. If your child is very routine oriented, it might not be feasible to miss the bedtime routine. If baby is sensitive to getting overtired, you might want to make sure there is a place for her to nap during the day.
If you’re feeling the pushback from family, you can always say something like: “We’ve worked really hard to help Aubrey with her sleep, and it is really important to us that we stick with our routine right now. I know you don’t get to see her too often and that she is fine right now, but if we leave too late then we’ll be dealing with a meltdown at home. I appreciate you understanding! We had such an amazing day celebrating with you and are excited for our next visit.”
All in all, knowing your limits ahead of time and preparing your family with your expectations will make for less stressful confrontations.
Taking a break
Big celebrations and holidays can be so much fun and so overwhelming at the same time. Offering your child some down time during the day can help to avoid an overtired babe or a toddler tantrum.
Depending on when you are leaving for the day, you can offer some quiet time for your kiddo earlier in the day before they enjoy all the family festivities. If you are driving to your destination, you can also plan your route around when baby takes their nap, getting everyone in the car just before baby is ready to go down. Having a little car nap will give them the rest that they need before being up and alert by the time you arrive and everyone is ready for baby time!
If you plan to be away for one or more of your baby’s sleeps, be sure that you have a safe space where they can rest. You might want to plan to bring the stroller or carrier for an on-the-go nap, or your portable crib, white noise, sleep sack, and lovies for a nap at the house. Double check with your hosts that there will be a quiet, dark room available for your baby to sleep. If your baby is sensitive to light while they sleep, be sure to check out the SlumberPod or your other favorite black out solution and consider bringing them along for the journey!
Whether your child still naps or not, having a little down time before the festivities will help keep their energy up for all the family fun!
Driving home
The day has come to an end and now it is time to say goodnight. Before you say your goodbyes and give final hugs, prepare your baby for the bedtime transition by getting into jammies and nighttime diaper. We all know that the car to crib transfer is nearly impossible, so to make that transition a little easier, having babe dressed and ready for bedtime before you get in the car will smooth things out and let them know what’s coming when they get home (i.e. not more play time with you).
Planning out what time you leave for the night is really dependent on what your child’s sleep needs are. If they are a naturally “easy” sleeper, you might be able to leave at any time, drive home with a sleeping babe, pull them from the car and lay down in the crib with no fuss. However, for the kiddos who are more sensitive to their routines, making sure you will have a 10-15 minute window after arriving home to go through the bedtime routine might be best for everyone. Either way, chances are, baby is going to be tired from a long day! Follow their cues and set your boundaries ahead of time to make those transitions as seamless as possible.
All in all…
Family tradition and celebrations don’t necessarily happen every day, and it is probably important to you to share those joys with your child! You might feel the pressure of not being the “fun parent” because you are wanting to follow your child’s regular schedule. Or maybe you think you’re compromising kiddo’s sleep during all the family festivities. I’m here to tell you:
you are the best parent for your child!
You know your baby best and know their needs better than anyone. Be confident in your boundary setting for the things that are important to you and know that it is absolutely okay to adjust your normal routine every now and again.
You might be thinking to yourself, “We love routine in this family, but I want us to all have fun during our visit! How much shifting can we handle?” A good baseline to follow is the 80/20 rule. This means that about 80% of the time you are following your daily rhythms and sleep schedule, while 20% remains for little adjustments and special activities throughout your visit.
Remember, there is no “right way” to navigate baby sleep during the holidays. If there were, chances are you wouldn’t be reading this in the first place! Follow your child’s cues and trust the boundaries you have set for your child… And have some fun!
Sweet dreams and happy holidays!
♡ Rhaine
